Understanding Japanese can sometimes feel like navigating a maze, especially when it comes to verbs that seem to mean the same thing but are used differently depending on who’s doing what to whom. The verbs あげる (ageru), くれる (kureru), and もらう (morau) are prime examples. They all relate to giving and receiving, but their usage hinges on perspective and the concept of “in-group” (ウチ – uchi) and “out-group” (ソト – soto).
Let’s break down these essential verbs to help you use them naturally.
The Core Concept: Perspective is Key!
Imagine yourself at the center of a circle. People inside your circle (your family, close friends, or yourself) are your “in-group” (ウチ). Everyone else is your “out-group” (ソト). The direction of the giving or receiving action, relative to your “in-group,” determines which verb you use.
あげる (ageru): Giving FROM Your Group (or Outsider to Outsider)
あげる means “to give.” You use it when someone from your “in-group” (or yourself) gives something to an “out-group” member, or when an “out-group” member gives something to another “out-group” member (from your perspective as an impartial observer).
- Direction of Action: From “In-group” → “Out-group” / “Out-group” → “Out-group”
- Perspective: The giver is you, your family/close friends, or someone completely unrelated to you (when observing others).
How to connect it:
- As a standalone verb: Use it with a noun. (e.g., プレゼントをあげる – to give a present)
- To describe an action performed for someone: Attach it to the て-form (te-form) of another verb. (e.g., 教えてあげる – to teach someone)
Examples:
- 私は友達にプレゼントをあげました。
- (Watashi wa tomodachi ni purezento o agemashita.)
- I gave a present to my friend. (Me → Friend)
- 弟が妹におもちゃをあげました。
- (Otōto ga imōto ni omocha o agemashita.)
- My younger brother gave a toy to my younger sister. (My family member → another family member. This is often used when both are part of your “in-group” or simply as a neutral statement of giving within a group.)
- 田中さんは鈴木さんに本をあげました。
- (Tanaka-san wa Suzuki-san ni hon o agemashita.)
- Mr. Tanaka gave a book to Mr. Suzuki. (An outsider → another outsider, from your perspective as an impartial observer. You’re simply stating a fact about two other people.)
Key point: When you’re talking about two people who are both “out-group” from your perspective (like Mr. Tanaka and Mr. Suzuki above), you use あげる because neither the giver nor the receiver is you or your “in-group.”
くれる (kureru): Giving TO Your Group
くれる also means “to give,” but it’s used specifically when someone from an “out-group” gives something to you or someone in your “in-group.” This verb often carries a nuance of gratitude, as it implies a benefit received by you or your inner circle.
- Direction of Action: From “Out-group” → “In-group” (you or your close ones)
- Perspective: The receiver is you or someone close to you.
How to connect it:
- As a standalone verb: Use it with a noun. (e.g., プレゼントをくれる – to give me a present)
- To describe an action performed for someone: Attach it to the て-form (te-form) of another verb. (e.g., 手伝ってくれる – to help me)
Examples:
- 友達が私にプレゼントをくれました。
- (Tomodachi ga watashi ni purezento o kuremashita.)
- My friend gave me a present. (Friend → Me)
- 先生が弟にアドバイスをくれました。
- (Sensei ga otōto ni adobaisu o kuremashita.)
- The teacher gave advice to my younger brother. (Teacher → My family member)
- 母が料理を作ってくれました。
- (Haha ga ryōri o tsukutte kuremashita.)
- My mother cooked for me. (Mother → Me; implies a benefit to me.)
もらう (morau): Receiving FROM Someone
もらう means “to receive.” You use it when you or someone in your “in-group” receives something from an “out-group” member. This verb always focuses on the act of receiving.
- Direction of Action: From “Out-group” → “In-group” (you or your close ones)
- Perspective: The receiver is you or someone close to you.
How to connect it:
- As a standalone verb: Use it with a noun. It’s almost always used with the particle ～から (kara) meaning “from.” (e.g., プレゼントをもらう – to receive a present)
- To describe an action performed for someone: Attach it to the て-form (te-form) of another verb. (e.g., 手伝ってもらう – to have someone help you)
Examples:
- 私は友達にプレゼントをもらいました。
- (Watashi wa tomodachi ni purezento o moraimashita.)
- I received a present from my friend. (Me ← Friend)
- 弟が先生にアドバイスをもらいました。
- (Otōto ga sensei ni adobaisu o moraimashita.)
- My younger brother received advice from the teacher. (My family member ← Teacher)
- 田中さんは鈴木さんから本をもらいました。
- (Tanaka-san wa Suzuki-san kara hon o moraimashita.)
- Mr. Tanaka received a book from Mr. Suzuki. (Tanaka-san ← Suzuki-san, from your perspective as an observer.)
Key point: もらう and くれる often describe the same event, but from different perspectives:
- 友達が私にプレゼントをくれた。 (Tomodachi ga watashi ni purezento o kureta.) – My friend gave me a present. (Emphasizes the friend’s giving action towards me.)
- 私が友達にプレゼントをもらった。 (Watashi ga tomodachi ni purezento o moratta.) – I received a present from my friend. (Emphasizes my receiving action from the friend.)
Beyond Objects: Giving and Receiving Actions (～てあげる・てくれる・てもらう)
These verbs aren’t just for physical objects! You can also attach them to the て-form (te-form) of other verbs to talk about who performs an action for whom.
- ～てあげる (te ageru): You (or your in-group) do something for someone else.
- 私が教えてあげます。 (Watashi ga oshiete agemasu.) – I’ll teach you.
- 母が弟の宿題を見てあげた。 (Haha ga otōto no shukudai o mite ageta.) – My mother helped my brother with his homework.
- ～てくれる (te kureru): Someone else does something for you (or your in-group).
- 友達が宿題を手伝ってくれました。 (Tomodachi ga shukudai o tetsudatte kuremashita.) – My friend helped me with my homework.
- 先生が質問に答えてくれた。 (Sensei ga shitsumon ni kotaete kureta.) – The teacher answered my question.
- ～てもらう (te morau): You (or your in-group) have someone else do something for you.
- 私は友達に宿題を手伝ってもらいました。 (Watashi wa tomodachi ni shukudai o tetsudatte moraimashita.) – I had my friend help me with my homework.
- 私は先生に質問に答えてもらいました。 (Watashi wa sensei ni shitsumon ni kotaete moraimashita.) – I had the teacher answer my question.
Summary Chart: Give and Take with Perspective
| Verb | Meaning | Speaker’s Perspective | Usage Notes | Example Sentences |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| あげる | To give | From the speaker (or someone in the speaker’s group) to someone else. | Used when the action of giving goes outward from the speaker or their in-group. Can also be used to refer to someone giving to someone else where neither is the speaker. | 1. 私は友達にプレゼントをあげました。(I gave a present to my friend.) <br> 2. 兄は妹におもちゃをあげました。(My older brother gave a toy to his younger sister.) |
| くれる | To give | From someone else to the speaker (or someone in the speaker’s group). | Used when the action of giving comes inward towards the speaker or their in-group. The person giving is the subject. | 1. 友達が私にプレゼントをくれました。(My friend gave me a present.) <br> 2. 先生が私たちに日本語を教えてくれました。(The teacher taught us Japanese.) |
| もらう | To receive | The speaker (or someone) receives something from someone else. | Used when the speaker (or the subject) is the receiver. The focus is on the act of receiving. | 1. 私は友達からプレゼントをもらいました。(I received a present from my friend.) <br> 2. 弟は兄から本をもらいました。(My younger brother received a book from his older brother.) |
Key Points to Remember:
- Perspective is Crucial: The most important thing is to understand whose perspective you are speaking from.
- Direction of Action:
- あげる: Giving away from me/my group.
- くれる: Giving towards me/my group.
- もらう: Receiving (by me/someone).
- Particles:
- あげる / くれる: The receiver is marked with に (ni).
- もらう: The giver is marked with から (kara) or sometimes に (ni).
These verbs are fundamental for expressing daily interactions, so mastering them will greatly improve your Japanese communication!